BLACK SABBATH - FORBIDDEN (1995)

You would think that after such a long absence, I might return bearing worthwhile gifts for my beloved readership, but alas, no such luck on this sunny Thursday afternoon--today I present you with naught but pure, undiluted garbage, in the form of the mighty Black Sabbath's final studio embarassment, Forbidden.
What constituted "Black Sabbath" in 1995 was a sad diminishment from even their lineup in 1992, much less the Dio years, much much less their heyday in the early-to-mid-seventies. What we have here is a broken, limping, generic-riff machine fronted by terminal no-name Tony "The Cat" Martin (above right), who even with the omnipresent Tony Iommi (no Geezer at this point--he was busy with GZR. LOL!) in tow couldn't muster an ounce of thunder on this resounding fart of an attempt at "hard rock". The handsome and talented Cozy Powell (who was later replaced by Blue Oyster Cult's Bobby Rondinelli, a dude that subsequently attempted to steal my girlfriend in the mid-00's--true story) rounded out the squadron on skins, but his servicable thumping is piss in an ocean to the utter, anachronistic misstep that is this album.

Did I mention that Ernie C from Body Count (left) was hired to produce this album? Or that esteemed thespian Ice T himself makes an appearance on the opening track? It's all true, which, in a way, is the only selling point to this album. It's pure novelty/curiosity, this ill-fated pairing of British rock legends and talentless urban street toughs, and really the only reason I brought it up today is that I find Tony Iommi's idea of what was "hip" and "edgy" in 1995 just about the most hilarious thing imaginable. His "go-to" was Body Count. Think about that shit.
Anyways, sorry to drop this turd in your proverbial punch bowl today, but hey, you can't win 'em all. Keep your head up, and just remember: RUSTY ANGELS, THEY CAN'T FLY.
Apologies.

Don't download HERE
Don't purchase HERE



Enjoy a low-budget documentary about the Tony Martin Era of Sabbath:

When Self-Promotion Goes Wrong Part 1

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Apocryphon will also be playing in Santa Rosa Saturday, June 23rd. Details forthcoming. And let's not forget:

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HEAVY METAL ALBUM COVERS RE-CREATED IN MS PAINT (A Retrospective)

As a direct result of Nothing Left Inside's post Saturday about shitty album art, I present you today with yet another rabbit hole, namely the short-lived trend of extreme-metal album covers being redrawn in MS Paint. Thanks to a re-posting of NLI's IllCon piece on Facebook (courtesy of internet-radio giants WMFU), the Bad Album Art thread spread far and wide, ultimately resulting in virtual Uroborous that leads right back to good 'ol IC Classic.

Our FB pal Aaron Neighbors hipped us to a shit-ton of his very own artwork (namely of the MS Paint variety) originally from a thread over on Nuclear War Now's message board (which in turn was spawned from earlier incarnations on DFFD and The Board That Shall Not Be Named), which blossomed, like the proverbial Corpse Flower, nearly overnight--eventually resulting in a stagnant pool of some of the most retardedly brilliant metal art I've ever seen. Out of respect for his diligence and hard work, we'll start with 25 of Mr. Neighbors' own designs, eventually moving on to another gallery of 25 greats from a further assortment of Nuclear War Now contributors.

This collection needs no further introduction. I believe the art speaks for itself.

Urgent update: Apparently there was a small misunderstanding. In Aaron's own words: "Also there was a confusion: only the Darkthrone, Beherit, and Mortiis featured are mine. The first 25 are not mine but belong to the dude that started this trend on NWN! I have many more in my own fb gallery so I don't want anyone to think those first ones are mine, those are way better than what I can do."

Update Update: This entire first run of images (besides the Ved Buens Ende cover) should be attributed to Mr. Patrick Hughes. Well done sir!

One "BONUS" image from Mr. Neighbors, which started this whole exploration in the first place:

Moving on:

25 further MS Paint-ed Extreme Metal Classics, all of them gleaned from various artists in the pages of the Nuclear War Now message board. Enjoy:

And finally, one "BONUS" image, possible the very greatest of the over 50 I've shared here today:

I could honestly get only halfway through the 53 pages of this thread before I gave up saving and re-posting. There is simply too much awesome. Feel free to head over there and check out the rest of the collection, as this is but a small cross-section.

Thanks again, Mr. Neighbors, for blowing my fucking mind.

In other news, check out the new IllCon logo sent in by our Bro Jay Howard from the LA-based band Wire Werewolves:

Dang. We have the best goddamn motherfucking readers on the entire internet.

You guys rule.