PURPLE SABBATH - The Black Sabbath Born Again Demos 1983

I think it's weird that everyone is talking about Sabbath reforming sans Bill Ward. Who the heck cares in 2012? Ozzy is a ghost of his former self, they play exactly zero deep cuts. Who get excited for this shit? Internet metal nerds? Dad? I don't know.

Let's take it back and look at what was up with Sabbath in 1983. Singer Ronnie James Dio just left the band along with then-drummer Vinnie Appice to start their own band Dio. The story goes: he had an epic battle with Iommi about the mixing of Live Evil (lol divas). Original Sabbath drummer Bill Ward was coaxed back in and the new singer was none other than the legendary Ian Gillan of Deep Purple fame. 

The result? Well thats up for debate. To me Born Again is up there with Vol 4. and Masters as one of their heaviest records. I love Ian Gillan's voice. Love it. Jesus Christ Superstar is one of my favorite rock records ever (Gillan plays Jesus, n00bs) and (in my opinion) his vocals worked perfectly with Iommi's evil riffage. The album was not received well by the public and generally trashed by the music press. I think thats weird. It totally rules. WTF, people?  

Ian said he never fit in with the band and he hated the album cover. I once read he smashed a whole box of records in his home because he was so disgusted. Also I guess this version of Sabbath inspired the 'Stonehenge' scene in This Is Spinal Tap. Check out this awesome story:

The album was apparently the victim of a terrible mix that had something to do with humidity + master tapes. Thats why what I'm posting here is so important. This is the unmixed, unmastered demos for the album (+ 1 song) that somehow surfaced in 2004 and it's fucking rad. This album has never received an official release on CD which is weird but fuck it. These demos are better anyway. One of my faves.

Download this now. 

The 6 Shittiest Little Brother Bands Of All Time

Being the little brother of an established rock star is a mixed blessing. Sure you can get more hype for your crap band but you will forever be in the shadow of the dickhead that kicked your ass when you were little. Here at Ill Con Labs we have been doing extensive research on the phenomena of little brother bands and we have come to this conclusion: THEY ARE ALL SHITTY.

Deep inside Ill Con LABS

Through many years of studying we can now bring you the definitive list of THE TOP SIX SHITTY LITTLE BROTHER BANDS EVER (after the jump)!

6 - .38 Special

Legendary Lynard Skynard front man Ronnie Van Zant will go down in history as one of the most badass singer/lyricists of all time. Too bad his shitty little brother Donnie won't. Known for their famous earworm "Hold On Loosely," which is obviously about Van Zant's masturbation style, .38 Special will forever be known as one of the most frequent bands on the county fair circuit. Amazingly .38 Special have recorded a whopping TWELVE albums including a disastrous Christmas album. Catch them live since they are perpetually on tour playing venues full of people waiting for that "one song."

5 - Malo

This is Carlos Santana's little bro Jorge's band. Known for their hit "Suavecito" which should be familiar to any red blooded Chicano American. I have to admit that I have mad love for that song as a burrito eater of Mexican decent, but the rest of their 8 album output? SHIT SHIT SHIT. Admittedly Carlos has become a total flaming bag of musical poop himself over the last decade. However those first 5 Santana albums (Self Titled - Welcome) are mighty, brutal and heavy as fuck. That's right. I rep for early Santana!

PS: Malo is also perpetually on tour. I'm seeing a trend here.

4 - Powerman 5000

I don't even know where to start with this fuckface. Powerman 5000 is the brainchild of "Spider One," younger brother of one the worst rock vocalist of all time Rob Zombie. If you thought "Dragula" was bad then you have never heard "When Worlds Collide" the one Powerman 5000 song to hit the charts. He's actually a WORSE singer than his older bro which is saying something! These guys basically cornered the shitty soundtrack market, as their contributions to terrible soundtracks is mightily impressive. Here is just a partial list of the soundtracks they have appeared on in addition to their 9 craptastic studio albums:

Freddy vs. Jason, Bride Of Chucky, End Of Days, Zoolander, Universal Soldier: The Return, Little Nicky, Scream 3, Dracula 2000, Blade II, Return Of The Living Dead 5: Rave To The Grave, NASCAR Thunder 2004


And thats just the tip of the iceberg! SHEESH! The only movie in that list I'll stand behind is Zoolander, though I have not seen Return Of The Living Dead 5: Rave To The Grave which I must say intrigues me. I guess Blade II is OKAY.

3 - Adema

Fuck Bakersfield, CA for being a shitty town that gave us not one, but two of the shittiest bands of the last two decades. This band is fronted by Mark Chavez, who is the lil' half bro of the current King Of Dubstep, KORN's Johnathan Davis. Yes, this band got a record deal by riding KORN's coattails. How can they sleep at night? Can you imagine the groupies they get? Like Powerman 5000 they ended up on a bunch of b-movie soundtracks and still seem to be playing in some form or another. They are currently playing venues called things like "Bleachers Sports Bar" in Bristol, CT and have 4 amazingly awful albums under their belt  You remember their song. It's the worst. Fuck you, Adema! 

2 - Bloodcum

Ok this one gets a little confusing. The bass player in this 80s thrash outfit is the little brother of Slayer's Tom Araya. That is a fact. However the singer "Joey Hanneman" was NOT the brother of Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman and they just gave him that name as a joke since they kind of looked alike. I guess they reformed in 2005 and play shows on and off. These guys get a pass because they aren't that bad and LOL "BLOODCUM" is a funnie name, but let's face it, compared to Slayer they completely suck.

1- Audiovent

Fucking hands down, without a doubt, no two ways about it, the WORST little bro band in the world ever is the steaming pile of dreck known as Audiovent. Audiovent is very special as 3 out of the 4 members are little brothers of the terrible people known as alternative rockers Incubus. THREE OUT OF FOUR MEMBERS. FUCKKKK ME! According to wiki:


Three out of four of the original members of Audiovent are related to members of the band Incubus. Jason Boyd is the brother of vocalist Brandon Boyd. Benjamin Einziger is brother of guitarist Mike Einziger, and Paul Fried is their stepbrother.


Everything about this band is utterly embarrassing for everyone involed. Their lyrics were juvenile at best. Riffs? Who needs riffs? The production sounds like my butt. Look at that motherfucker's half shirt. Makes me upset.


They achieved minor success in 2002 touring with other amazingly disgusting bands like Saliva (RIP) and Theory of a Deadman (lol).Also they are from Calabasas, CA which is the same suburban cesspool of rich white shitheads as Linkin Park and the Kardashians (they are Armenian but you get my drift). Thank god they broke up in 2004. Something we can all be happy about. 

Honorable mention: Roger Clinton

Little bro to our very own rockstar POTUS, Roger Clinton is famous for doing coke while Bill was Governor (which Bill later pardoned him from while in office!) and releasing a terrible album of whiteboy blues while his older brother was the president. Roger is also an actor appearing in such films as Fred Claus and Pumpkinhead II!

A true American hero! Roger Clinton we salute you!!!!!

Recent shot of the Clinton Bros. I would totally smoke a blunt with these dudes.

Check out this hot JAMMMMM! WALKIN' THE DOGGG!! OWWWWWWWWW!

Death Strike - Fuckin' Death (1991)

Holy Grape-nuts!!

Sorry ladies and gents, I just realized its been almost two weeks since my last post here at IllCon (found here). Man, I'm slacking hard these days! (these damn classes I'm taking are getting in the way... fuckin' A!)

To be brutally honest, I was a bit disappointed in all y'all out there as no one commented on my last post (again, found here) so I have no idea whether it was worthy or not. However people have been downloading the shit out of the link I provided so it is safe to assume that someone, somewhere out there must dig it, right?

Shit...

So in light of my absence here on IllCon as of late, I present you with this slab of awesomeness!! Are you excited?! You should be excited, as it is m@#$%!@#$%!@g DEATH STRIKE!! Bro!! Dude, man!

Straight out of Chicago, Illinois, Death Strike formed in 1984, long before many of the so-called "death metal" bands of today were even kernels of inspiration; long before the scenesters of today were barely even out of their diapers, including myself. They released one demo in 1985 under the same title name as their full length, Fuckin' Death, which was released in 1991. The band split sometime in 1992 after-which members went on to other bands, most notably the almighty Master. The sound is crude, reminiscent of Celtic Frost and Hell Hammer with some elements of hardcore but is just as heavy and brutal as any other release during that time. It reminds me of an earlier, more crude version of Usurper at times.
If anything, this release provides an interesting bit of retrospective in terms of understanding the origins of the death metal scene, particularly here in the States.

To quote ANUS, Death Strike are "[o]ne of the founding death metal acts... combin[ing] raging hardcore mayhem with old school metal to create a low-end flesh destroying death metal nightmare." Enough said!

...find 'The Truth' here...

...'Pay to Die' here...

Metallum / Last.FM

TREVOR JONES - Angel Heart OST (1987)

Mention the name Trevor Jones to people and they will probably shrug their shoulders with indifference. Mention the films Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Excalibur, Runaway Train or Dark City and they might have heard of a couple of those ( you would hope they have, if anyone ever denies hearing about or seeing one or more of these films, they can't be trusted!). Well Trevor Jones was responsible for the music to all of those.

I could recount Jones's career and what not but you can read all about him on Wikipedia so lets jut skip that and jump to the post, his atmospheric score to Alan Parker's supernatural 1987 flick, Angel Heart.

If you are familiar with the film ( you should be, if not then rectify this personal failure), then you will know about the claustrophobic atmosphere and general creepiness it exudes. Trevor Jones managed to capture this mood perfectly with a score that feels like a constantly shifting musical suite rather than separate tracks. Starting as it does with the mournful saxophone and creeping synths before moving into the downtrodden blues and thumping heartbeat of the second half, punctuated throughout with sampled dialogue detailing Mickey Rourke's doomed search. Its been my "drive to work" album for the past few weeks, my co-workers hate me for it.

Saxual Healing

The film is streaming online and its easy enough to find so get on that as well. Rourke and De Niro on fine form.

Infernäl Mäjesty - None Shall Defy The Fact That I'm Unholier Than Thou

I could have sworn Cobras had done a review of Infernal Majesty's None Shall Defy a while back but I could not locate it for the life of me. Maybe it's been buried deep within IllCon's catacombs? Maybe it was taken off mysteriously by those mysterious aliens?

Perhaps Bigfoot decided to come in and pummel it completely from record? Maybe it was sequestered by the pesky folks up there in D.C. in a similar manner to what happened at Megaupload? Or maybe Alex Jones is at it again and elves came, worked their magic, and stole it?

Whatever the case, I was originally going to feature Infernal Majesty's second album, Unholier Than Thou, but why not feature both albums?! Saweet! Thanks dude!! (You know you will be thanking me later!)

You know what I like about this band? They did what Slayer could not. They continued producing sick ass tunes. They did not get watered down by the music industry. They didn't grow beyond their music and act like they invented the genre or anything of the sort. And on top of that, they did not become egotistical pussies (talk about undisputed attitude!). Don't get me wrong, I highly respect Slayer's first 5 albums. In fact, I love Slayer! I still consider both Show No Mercy and Reign In Blood as favorites of mine. I even have a soft spot for Seasons... and Divine Intervention was a solid album to boot! However, the Slayer of today is like a decrepit version of the Slayer of yesterday. They simply are trying too hard now and their music has suffered. But I'm not here to talk about Slayer, I'm here to talk about one of Canada's finest!

OK, perhaps a little more on Slayer for a moment... Some consider Infernal Majesty a Slayer rip-off. OK, that's true to a point. Slayer were highly influential. Many bands followed their recipe. In the beginning of Infernal Majesty's career there is an obvious Slayer influence and their tone and approach were parallel to Slayer's at times but they went beyond that by adding an element of (if I dare say) black metal, technical thrash, and later death metal to the mix (rumor had it Corpsegrinder from Cannibal Corpse was doing live vocals for them recently). With that said, Infernal Majesty are therefore not a Slayer rip-off. They continue to shred, they slay, and pummel the listener into oblivion... Something Slayer seemingly has struggled to do on recent albums.

The band itself originated from Canada in 1986, so that should be a testament to how awesome they are. I mean Canada has thus far produced some of the best music, including metal, period. Bands such as Gorguts, Slaughter, Exciter, Sacrifice, Kataklysm, Malicious Intent, Razor, Revenge, and Blasphemy all came out from the boreal forest and tundra that makes up much of our neighbor to the north. Maybe there is something to be said about the cold, windswept climate up there that produces solid, no bullshit music? Who knows.

Anyways, None Shall Defy happens to be in my top-twenty, possibly even top-ten albums of all time. Unholier Than Thou is also a great album that is highly underrated but it does have its' flaws. The track, "Roman Song", is probably their strongest on the album as it shows Infernal Majesty at their best, however there is something about None Shall Defy that simply has not been topped, by both their contemporaries and the band itself.

So rather than me blabbering on for days about how great these releases are, I suggest you check them out for yourself!

Here

Buy Here or Here

Last.FM / Metallum

Official Website

How much more 'metal' can you get?! Jeesh.

COIN-OP MEMORIES PART 2

Back for more. Part 1 ( I'm not going to link it as you would miss the sweet Herpes post below ) whet your appetite about some classic arcade gaming. Well I have carried on my trawl through the arcade classics I remember and picked out more of my favourites that are worthy of a go still to this day. Lets get down to it.

Bad Dudes Vs. DragonNinja (1988)

One of those games that every arcade had, also one of those games that everyone had at home as it was ported to nearly every home computer going. Despite being easier on the home versions it still gave you a little more edge over the competition when it came down to playing it in public.
The game had you attempting to rescue President Ronny ( Reagan ) from the DragonNinja. You constantly get asked if your a bad enough dude to take on the job despite your character proclaiming he's "bad" after every stage. They ain't even satisfied when you beat the shit out of waves and waves of enemy ninjas, dogs, ladies in bondage gear and various boss characters.

Once you manage to defeat the the evil DragonNinja, you get this pretty sweet ending......

Lucky & Wild (1992)

This was the coolest game when I was a kid. For those of us that grew up watching Lethal Weapon, Starsky & Hutch and Tango & Cash, this was the only way to live out those fantasies. It wasn't a very popular machine due to the size it required, but you had hit gold if any amusement had it. First off, check the machine......

That's right! Driving as well as shooting! With two guns! It might be a common thing these days but back in the late 80's/early 90's, only Chase HQ had the police chase, shooting and driving angle really nailed. Lucky & Wild allowed you and a buddy to be cops chasing down and shooting the shit out of everything on screen.
Check the video.............

Mute the sound as its pretty annoying listening to some bozo talking through it.

Pretty sweet looking eh? The attraction of it was the absolute chaos it seemed to involve. You drove through malls and restaurants while blasting bad guys apart! At its heart it was a standard rail shooter, to my young mind it was the nearest I would ever get to being involved in high speed shoot-outs.

Hot bitches 

Plus sweet chase music

I am pretty sure this is the king of my mispent, childhood, arcade loitering.

Vendetta (1991)

At one point in time, any urban set, revenge themed beat em up wouldn't have been taken seriously if it didn't have the title screen set on a graffiti strewn brick wall. That was a cast iron certificate that you would see fist/face interface action. Vendetta was a sort of sequel to the Double Dragon rip off Crime Fighters, it was a pretty standard rescue-your-girl-from-nasty-dudes. Now, lots of games dealt with this theme, Vendetta changed it up with the chance to have 3 of your friends back you up. Allowing you to throw each other into enemies and such.

Vendetta added a ton more violence than Final Fight or Double Dragon had, this was what had me coming back. You could hold enemies down and wail on their torso, smash barrels over heads, kick down scaffolding, smash sacks of cement around their faces, tons of pretty rough stuff. Get your hands on a baseball bat with nails or a chain and you could carve your way through the enemies.

Hot bitches and fire.

Your gang is called Cobras.

Rogues gallery.

Did I also mention the pretty bitchin' soundtrack courtesy of Castlevania composer Michiru Yamane? You bet I did.

Personally, these where my favourites. I always had a few more that I played pretty regular like Captain Commando, Knights of The Round, Narc, Vigilante and some others. Anyone want to throw their own favourites in?

COIN-OP MEMORIES PART 1

If my parents had a list of things I shouldn't have spent my hard earned paper round money on then arcade games where public enemy number one when I was a child. Even more so than comics and records! I could happily piss away a whole weeks wage ( back then, that was a lot) inside of an hour at any number of amusement arcades dotted around my home town. I have always believed the appeal was the fact that you believed you would never see these games on your home computer, couple that with the amount of violence and the prison-art-therapy artwork adorning most of the machines casings and you had a sure thing when it came to relieving young people of money.
I recently spent a bit of time messing around with a MAME emulator and revisiting some of these games. Suffice to say, it becomes obvious you were not designed to complete most on a single credit. A few have held up pretty well while others still hold a small corner of my memory hostage. Following my research, these are my sure fire, revisit, classic arcade cash devourers.

Cadillacs & Dinosaurs (1992)

Cadillacs & Dinosaurs not only combined all manner of awesome things ( dinosaurs, cool cars, guns, post-apocalyptic story and girls) to appeal to a young man, but it also managed to keep me going back time after time. Despite being Mark Schultz's Xenozoic Tales bolted to the Final Fight game system, Cadillacs & Dinosaurs held my attention for years. You had guns! Final Fight didn't have those. You could kick the shit out of dinosaurs! Final Fight couldn't do that.

That's what you think dick neck.

The story had you fighting off poachers, mutants, bikers and various nasty types from messing with the balance of nature. That didn't really matter to me. The clincher was halfway through the first stage, being able to blast someone out of a window with a shotgun before punching a Rock Hopper (Raptor. None of the dinosaurs go by their real names) in the face outside in an alley! Throw in being able to smash through bikers and barrels in a car and I was sold. My pockets rapidly emptied.

Ignore the System of A Down tune at the beginning, Some people have a nerve.

A.B. Cop (1990)

AB Cop was the easiest of my childhood arcade adventures. Being as I once managed to complete it on a single credit, sadly there was no one to witness my amazing skill on that fateful day in a derelict amusement arcade in Blackpool. AB ( Air bike, air biscuit) Cop took the Hang On template of third person, full immersion racing ( you had a bike to lean left and right on, or if your arcade was cheap they just had the cabinet with handle bars ) and added enemies to battle. The levels all took the same route, ram various nasty biker types before confronting the boss. You then had to use your turbo charge to jump and smash him off the road to complete the level and get a satisfying thumbs up from your rider.

The main appeal of AB Cop was the difficulty scale. It was so easy to have a single credit and get through about 3 levels before you had to dive into your pocket for a follow up go. Once you worked out the main tactic for dealing with every boss ( jump, turbo charge. steer left/right, repeat) you could rampage through the whole game on a single credit. Of course the appeal of showing off to all and sundry in the arcade by reaching the completion screen of any game was impossible to ignore. No matter how easy said game was.

BEAST BUSTERS (1989)

Long before you could take cover with a fancy foot pedal in Time Crisis and such games, rail shooters gave you a big machine gun and threw waves of enemies at you. Beast Busters ( from the ever reliable SNK stable) was always the game I saw in arcades but never managed to actually play as they always seemed to place Operation Wolf or Rambo 3 in my way as a distraction. Luckily, I found a flea pit on a family outing that only had assorted pinball tables, Asteroids and Beast Busters. No contest really, sorry Asteroids.

The wafer thin plot had you as gun nuts trying to escape a zombie infested city. Gun toting zombies at that. Pretty ahead of its time stuff? The gore was a major factor in how cool I thought this game was. Enemies exploded in blood and bone pieces, green slime was everywhere, they had zombie bikers, Jason like hockey masked monsters and then along came the absurd bosses! A driverless Jeep that shoots missiles before coming alive! A typical 80's street punk that transforms into a massive dog! A floating eye made of bodies! Next level shit for any kid. Even the soundtrack was sweet.

It had 3 f**king guns!

Party Bus

Thanks to the wonders of MAME technology you can enjoy all these titles from the comfort of your own home. You don't have to worry about all those dodgy, blatantly criminal looking dudes that used to hang around arcades, you don't have to worry about putting your hand in the never clean ashtray that adorned pretty much every machine and you don't have to worry about any bigger boys coming along and shoving you over while you where playing. The world of arcade gaming is far less dangerous these days.

P.S. If anyone can help to hook me up with any of the soundtracks to these games or other arcade classics then that would be sweet.

Part 2 to follow.