Showing posts with label Stuff by Cory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stuff by Cory. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 22

PURPLE SABBATH - The Black Sabbath Born Again Demos 1983



I think it's weird that everyone is talking about Sabbath reforming sans Bill Ward. Who the heck cares in 2012? Ozzy is a ghost of his former self, they play exactly zero deep cuts. Who get excited for this shit? Internet metal nerds? Dad? I don't know.

Let's take it back and look at what was up with Sabbath in 1983. Singer Ronnie James Dio just left the band along with then-drummer Vinnie Appice to start their own band Dio. The story goes: he had an epic battle with Iommi about the mixing of Live Evil (lol divas). Original Sabbath drummer Bill Ward was coaxed back in and the new singer was none other than the legendary Ian Gillan of Deep Purple fame. 

The result? Well thats up for debate. To me Born Again is up there with Vol 4. and Masters as one of their heaviest records. I love Ian Gillan's voice. Love it. Jesus Christ Superstar is one of my favorite rock records ever (Gillan plays Jesus, n00bs) and (in my opinion) his vocals worked perfectly with Iommi's evil riffage. The album was not received well by the public and generally trashed by the music press. I think thats weird. It totally rules. WTF, people?  

Ian said he never fit in with the band and he hated the album cover. I once read he smashed a whole box of records in his home because he was so disgusted. Also I guess this version of Sabbath inspired the 'Stonehenge' scene in This Is Spinal Tap. Check out this awesome story:

The album was apparently the victim of a terrible mix that had something to do with humidity + master tapes. Thats why what I'm posting here is so important. This is the unmixed, unmastered demos for the album (+ 1 song) that somehow surfaced in 2004 and it's fucking rad. This album has never received an official release on CD which is weird but fuck it. These demos are better anyway. One of my faves.

Thursday, May 10

Further Down the Rabbit Hole of SHIT: Counting Crows Fan Art

So hey. The death of music blogs is upon us. It's inevitable that Illogical Contraption will get shut down eventually by the evil record companies. In light of these recent Nazi-esque crackdowns we decided to become a full time fan art blog. Enjoy!













Wednesday, May 2

Public Enemy - Muse Sick-n-Hour Mess Age (1994)


Muse Sick-n-Hour Mess Age was released in 1994. This was a post "The Chronic" world and rap glorifying drug use and violence was already the status quo for a couple years. PE was considered "old" and "corny" by most fans of the genre and the bad reviews started flowing in before the album even came out. The decline of PE in the eyes of the record buying public happened so fast. The switch from party rap and political hip hop dominating the charts to the overwhelming rise and popularity of so called "gangsta rap" happened in the blink of an eye. It's almost as if the prison industrial complex and high level music executives had a secret meeting to  calculate the gangsta rap trend, fill up prisons and make a quick buck!  That's crazy though. That would never happen in our pure white America!

Here's the facts ("facts" being used loosely):
  • People slept on this album when it came out which caused it to not have much of a legacy.
  • People are fucking stupid and this album is THE BEST, ANGRIEST, most listenable Public Enemy album. (Challop)
  • It's heavy as fuck.
  • Chuck D's "message" is still as relevant today as it was in 1994 if not more so. His delivery is straight up fierce on this album. 
  • This is Flavor Flav's best work! (Challop)
  • This is the most GROWN up PE record, as they grew out of their sexism and gay-baiting lyrics of the previous releases. They learned from their mistakes and made better music.

Seriously, and I know I will get shit for this, I enjoy later-period PE more than the early shit. The Bomb Squad's "throw everything at the wall" style of production just has not aged well. See also Ice Cube's AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted. 

Bottom line: don't be like the great unwashed masses and sleep on this album. The songs are awesome, the music is powerful, heavy, funky and FUNNY. It's their masterpiece as far as I'm concerned. PE still had it in '94 no matter what the music press wants you to believe. Also check out that beautiful cover!



Thursday, April 26

The 6 Shittiest Little Brother Bands Of All Time

Being the little brother of an established rock star is a mixed blessing. Sure you can get more hype for your crap band but you will forever be in the shadow of the dickhead that kicked your ass when you were little. Here at Ill Con Labs we have been doing extensive research on the phenomena of little brother bands and we have come to this conclusion: THEY ARE ALL SHITTY.

Deep inside Ill Con LABS
Through many years of studying we can now bring you the definitive list of THE TOP SIX SHITTY LITTLE BROTHER BANDS EVER (after the jump)!

6 - .38 Special

Legendary Lynard Skynard front man Ronnie Van Zant will go down in history as one of the most badass singer/lyricists of all time. Too bad his shitty little brother Donnie won't. Known for their famous earworm "Hold On Loosely," which is obviously about Van Zant's masturbation style, .38 Special will forever be known as one of the most frequent bands on the county fair circuit. Amazingly .38 Special have recorded a whopping TWELVE albums including a disastrous Christmas album. Catch them live since they are perpetually on tour playing venues full of people waiting for that "one song."





5 - Malo

This is Carlos Santana's little bro Jorge's band. Known for their hit "Suavecito" which should be familiar to any red blooded Chicano American. I have to admit that I have mad love for that song as a burrito eater of Mexican decent, but the rest of their 8 album output? SHIT SHIT SHIT. Admittedly Carlos has become a total flaming bag of musical poop himself over the last decade. However those first 5 Santana albums (Self Titled - Welcome) are mighty, brutal and heavy as fuck. That's right. I rep for early Santana!

PS: Malo is also perpetually on tour. I'm seeing a trend here.




4 - Powerman 5000

I don't even know where to start with this fuckface. Powerman 5000 is the brainchild of "Spider One," younger brother of one the worst rock vocalist of all time Rob Zombie. If you thought "Dragula" was bad then you have never heard "When Worlds Collide" the one Powerman 5000 song to hit the charts. He's actually a WORSE singer than his older bro which is saying something! These guys basically cornered the shitty soundtrack market, as their contributions to terrible soundtracks is mightily impressive. Here is just a partial list of the soundtracks they have appeared on in addition to their 9 craptastic studio albums:

Freddy vs. Jason, Bride Of Chucky, End Of Days, Zoolander, Universal Soldier: The Return, Little Nicky, Scream 3, Dracula 2000, Blade II, Return Of The Living Dead 5: Rave To The Grave, NASCAR Thunder 2004


And thats just the tip of the iceberg! SHEESH! The only movie in that list I'll stand behind is Zoolander, though I have not seen Return Of The Living Dead 5: Rave To The Grave which I must say intrigues me. I guess Blade II is OKAY.






3 - Adema

Fuck Bakersfield, CA for being a shitty town that gave us not one, but two of the shittiest bands of the last two decades. This band is fronted by Mark Chavez, who is the lil' half bro of the current King Of Dubstep, KORN's Johnathan Davis. Yes, this band got a record deal by riding KORN's coattails. How can they sleep at night? Can you imagine the groupies they get? Like Powerman 5000 they ended up on a bunch of b-movie soundtracks and still seem to be playing in some form or another. They are currently playing venues called things like "Bleachers Sports Bar" in Bristol, CT and have 4 amazingly awful albums under their belt  You remember their song. It's the worst. Fuck you, Adema! 




2 - Bloodcum

Ok this one gets a little confusing. The bass player in this 80s thrash outfit is the little brother of Slayer's Tom Araya. That is a fact. However the singer "Joey Hanneman" was NOT the brother of Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman and they just gave him that name as a joke since they kind of looked alike. I guess they reformed in 2005 and play shows on and off. These guys get a pass because they aren't that bad and LOL "BLOODCUM" is a funnie name, but let's face it, compared to Slayer they completely suck.




1- Audiovent

Fucking hands down, without a doubt, no two ways about it, the WORST little bro band in the world ever is the steaming pile of dreck known as Audiovent. Audiovent is very special as 3 out of the 4 members are little brothers of the terrible people known as alternative rockers Incubus. THREE OUT OF FOUR MEMBERS. FUCKKKK ME! According to wiki:


Three out of four of the original members of Audiovent are related to members of the band Incubus. Jason Boyd is the brother of vocalist Brandon Boyd. Benjamin Einziger is brother of guitarist Mike Einziger, and Paul Fried is their stepbrother.


Everything about this band is utterly embarrassing for everyone involed. Their lyrics were juvenile at best. Riffs? Who needs riffs? The production sounds like my butt. Look at that motherfucker's half shirt. Makes me upset.


They achieved minor success in 2002 touring with other amazingly disgusting bands like Saliva (RIP) and Theory of a Deadman (lol).Also they are from Calabasas, CA which is the same suburban cesspool of rich white shitheads as Linkin Park and the Kardashians (they are Armenian but you get my drift). Thank god they broke up in 2004. Something we can all be happy about. 





Honorable mention: Roger Clinton


Little bro to our very own rockstar POTUS, Roger Clinton is famous for doing coke while Bill was Governor (which Bill later pardoned him from while in office!) and releasing a terrible album of whiteboy blues while his older brother was the president. Roger is also an actor appearing in such films as Fred Claus and Pumpkinhead II!

A true American hero! Roger Clinton we salute you!!!!!

Recent shot of the Clinton Bros. I would totally smoke a blunt with these dudes.

Check out this hot JAMMMMM! WALKIN' THE DOGGG!! OWWWWWWWWW!



Thursday, April 12

Doritos FUCK GOD 2K12

Isopods mackin on nacho flave is an internet CLASSIQUE!!!!

Why are Doritos so good? I don't know.

Most fat internet metal nerds like to eat Doritos and drink Mountain Dew but not us. Nope. At IllCon HQ "Mountain Don't" (lol) is a strict forbidden no no cuz it makes us fat and ruins our teeth. But Doritos are different because they are special.


Our favorites here at the HQ were Doritos Late Night: Tacos @ Midnight. These have been discontinued and we are really sad :(

They have a new kind of Doritos called DORITOS JACKED. Like pumped up crazy strong Doritos, bro.

Let's talk about what The Doritos Company is doing to make their chips appeal to younger eaters.


South By South West is a special musical festival created by Texas Instruments (inventors of the Speak and Spell) where brogrammers and fans of buzz bands alike get together to make killer apps while watching indie music bands. Doritos made a stage there for their new JACKED line of chips. It looks like a vending machine. Much like the one found in the Illcon HQ office.

This funnie little guy played on the stage with a hip brogrammer band called "White Denim" and he says they are "energy chips."

Taco Bell is also dipping their wick into the Dorito game with their Locos Tacos.
Please tell us your Locos Tacos story in the comments section of this blog post.

This is us eating Locos Tacos looking hella fucking hard before our podcast.

Do you remember the Dorito mystery flavor conspiracy?

Here is my favorite weird ass Dorito bag:


Lol Wut? I'll have foot in balls flavor please.

Can someone tell me what these Latino metal Dorito bros are talking about? I don't understand Mexican lol.


Thursday, March 15

The Magical World Of Anthony Kiedis Fan Art









Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed -Anthony Keidis

Wednesday, February 22

Van Der Graaf - Vital (1978)

What the fuck is the matter with people? One of the best bands of the prog era make one of the heaviest live albums ever and the critics at the time completely shit on it so it remains in obscurity forever. Stupid! Let us not forget that these are the same critics that were telling us how worthless Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin were all the while touting the genius of The J. Geils Band and Toto. Fucking puke.

Van Der Graaf Generator were difficult to most listeners. They are not "tight" in the way King Crimson or Genesis are known for. They were way more punk and experimental in their approach to "progressive" music of the time. Jazz influenced in theory only, not in the academic way, say, Henry Cow or Gentle Giant were. There are no frolicking elves and faeries in Van Der Graaf music. This is why they rock a thousand times more than their peers.

Vital is the only official live album of the 70s released by the mighty Van Der Graaf (they dropped the Generator by this time) and it is a fucking ripper. Not ripping in the sense of Thin Lizzy - Live and Dangerous per se, but more in the way of Sleep's Holy Mountain or something. Singer/main songwriter/keyboardist Peter Hammill is brilliant at making music that's both beautiful and horrific at once and he honed that skill perfectly within the group of insanely talented musicians in VDGG. This release highlights my favorite aspects of their music. The contrast between Hammill's angelic and demonic vocals, disgustingly distorted thumping bass, intense drumming and David Jackson's sax. Yes sax. Don't be scurred. It works.

This is prog at it's best. It's absolutely madness. Play loud.

Tuesday, February 21

SANDWICH SMACKDOWN 2k12


OK, CHUDS, IT'S TIME TO PICK A SIDE. SUBWAY OR QUIZNOS!?
Both are complete garbage trash shit food but we eat them anyway.

Subway pros:
Cheap as fuck.
That magical bread smell!
Sandwiches are made by "artist" (I think they go to art school).
They are located everywhere.
Their spokesperson, Jared, is a really cool, cute dude.

Cons:
Shredded lettuce does not live up to its name.
That magical bread smell
Too many sauces, so little time!
Tomatoes taste like fish.
Breakfast.


Here is some advice regarding Subway breakfast from Hawaiian resident and "friend of the show" Grady. Heed his warning:

[15:28] grady: btw dont ever get breakfast at subway its disgusting
[15:29] cory: describe it to me
[15:29] grady : ok
[15:30] grady : i got an egg + cheese english muffin
[15:30] grady : they go
[15:30] grady : "do you want egg whites or whole eggs"
[15:30] grady : i go "whole eggs"
[15:30] grady : they reach into the little compartments where they keep all the sandwich toppings
[15:31] cory: right
[15:31] grady : and take out a PRE-COOKED pancake looking cold omlette
[15:31] grady : slices it in half
[15:31] grady : and tosses it in the microwave
[15:32] cory: ugh thats fucked up

Quiznos PROS:
Premium ingredients
MMMM toasty
Ranch dressing on MY sandwich? SIGN ME UP!
Those little guitar playing meme hamsters

CONS:
HOT LETTUCE
HOT LETTUCE
HOT LETTUCE

We do not have Blimpies and Jimmy John on the West Coast but I am intrigued.

There is a "metal" food truck called Grill Em' All. Lol.

hi

Check out this Arsenio guy have a very bad day with sandwich!



And now we will celebrate great sandwiches in movies.



My #1 is always and forever Gary Busey's meatball sub in Point Break. YEAH!

What is yours?

Wednesday, February 8

Osanna - L'uomo (1971)

Hey, all. I'm going to take over Prog Blog Wednesday for a while so if you hate bloated 70s rock music or my writing STAY AWAY ON HUMP DAY. Minimal metal will be discussed in these pieces as prog metal is usually shit and brings up images of six string basses and Dream Theatre shirts that I would rather forget existed. There are some kind of cool bands doing the 70s thing now like Danava and Titan, but they also come off as a bit false to me. Fashion haircuts and tight jeans included. I don't know. If I'm wrong please let me know and if there is some great current prog metal I am happy to be schooled.

Today I bring you the first record by beloved Italian prog band Osanna. This thing "rocks" more than it takes you on a magical journey through a Roger Dean painted landscape (this is a good thing). Osanna were awesome. They had a flute player and they wore corpse paint. The riffs are rad and the drumming is intense. Here's a video of them being all black metal-y.



Pretty cool! But yeah they mystical quality of video is kind of ruined by the excavating equipment. lol

Thursday, February 2

Frippin' Out Part 2 - After Crimson

Robert Fripp disbanded King Crimson the first time in 1974 after making an ambient record with Brian Eno called No Pussyfooting. I have to assume the name of said record is in reference to Eno and Fripp's serious appetite for groupie strange. No shit. Check out this excerpt from a 1973 column in the NME by Ian MacDonald (who was in KC and fucking FOREIGNER!).

Excerpt from Robert Fripp: The Sexual Athlete

"What was the best lay you ever had?"

Fripp stroked his chin, reflectively. "There are about four chicks involved in that – not, in this case, simultaneously. I have to admit. However, return with me if you will to my earliest days as a rock musician. I used to get complaints from Greg (Lake). Not directly, but I used to hear about them.

"You see, we shared this flat which was basically one room divided into two by a thin cardboard screen. It was, as you can imagine, not fit to live in. Anyway, Greg used to complain about the gasps and screams coming from my side of the partition and, I must admit, his women used to get on my nerves too. No comment on Gregory, just his women – but I decided to move out.

"The ensuing period of my homelessness in 1969 was one of the most rewarding of my life. I was continually thrown on the mercies and generosities of tender maidens. Oh those lovely situations. It was quite awful in one way – but quite beautiful in another."

...

"Of course, when one is young one has all these delusions of being the great stud and one is not interested in a harmonious relationship of giving and taking. But, I'm happy to say, those days for me are now long past and I have spent many fulfilling hours, even on this very lawn upon which I now recline, not only copulating but involved in various other activities.

"In fact I was lying here naked one day, a young lady in attendance, when my next-door neighbour, the chairman of the Rural District Council, popped his head over yonder hedge to inform me that I had Dutch Elm Disease.

"But America is the place for numbers really. We've just done all the sunshine areas. Now sunshine, what ever it does to anyone else, has the most alarming repercussions within me. Things happen to my body. I undergo chemical changes.

"I find myself drooling, my tongue hanging out, my mouth snapping together involuntarily, twitchings – obsessive thoughts – the lewd imagination develops.

"In fact, I've never seen so many delightful young bodies, both quantity and quality, within such a short space of time as the last month in America. I was overwhelmed. By the end of the tour, I came back unfit for anything, completely exhausted on every level of my being. Oh! Oh!

"Nowadays I say to the rest of the lads: Take my name off the list, lads, put me on the reserve list – only to be called up in dire emergency. Then, after an afternoon in the sun by a swimming-pool with all these young bodies hanging in and out of bikinis, I say: Lads, you've got to put me back on the list. And I'll be called up to action. Oh! Oh! The battles that are fought throughout the Holiday-Inns of America! Delightful."

...

AND ENO? What of the man that the groupies of three continents have come to know as The Refreshing Experience?

"Yes," nods Fripp, his glazed expression returning. "We're both incorrigible womanizers, both wonderful examples of young Taurian virility. It may interest you to see a certain picture which will be the cover for our joint recording effort, The Transcendental Music Corporation, featuring us both in a state of undress.

"We were intending to have with us certain similarly unclad females – but, on reflection, decided that this was but a feeble excuse to gaze upon the works of the creator made manifest in the flesh.

"So we decided that it was a far nicer idea to have Eno and myself in the nude as a small way of saying thank you to those ladies who have done what they can in the past to enable us to develop as men – and, hopefully, as an invitation to all those ladies in the future who'd like to help us develop even further."

Sheesh. Only a dandy UK bro could talk about getting poon in such a dull flowery way!

So Eno and Fripp fuck lots of groupies, do lots of drugs, invent crazy tape looping machines and create a method of sound manipulation now known as Frippertronics that is so important to the evolution of electronic and ambient music that it, yes, has it's own Wiki page.


Bob breaks down Frippertronics

Eno and Fripp release one more ambient album called Evening Sun that is really good and you should listen to it. 1977 was a big year as Fripp then moves to New York's Hells Kitchen, starts hanging with the punx, plays guitar on Bowie's Heroes to much acclaim, and produces and plays on albums for Peter Gabriel and Daryl Hall. Yes, that Daryl Hall. From the Oates and Hall Rock n Soul Revue. These two albums along with his own solo release "Exposure" have come to be known as "The NYC Trilogy" and it's some of my favorite music ever made. Especially Hall's Sacred Songs so let's talk about that first.

Download

First, It should be known that this album was recorded in 1977 but not released until 1980 due to RCA claiming it being "not commercial." Sacred Songs starts normal enough. Glammy 70s soul in the style of Bowie with those signature Hall & Oates harmonies that we all have grown up to love (or hate) so well. But something really weird happens halfway through track 3. The album is not normal anymore. Something alien occurs. Something takes it over and brings it to some other-worldly level of heaviness, beauty and weird that is ultra rare in music nowadays. Was it due to the undeniable influence majik and the occult had on the recording and writing process?

From Wiki:

Both the lyrics and musical sounds of Sacred Songs reflected Hall's personal philosophy. The lyrical content alludes to some of Hall's interests in esoteric magic (or "magick" as it is sometimes spelled). Rock music author Timothy White interviewed Hall for the book Rock Lives. In that interview Hall indicated that in 1974 he began a serious study of esoteric spirituality reading books on topics like the cabala, the ancient Celts, and the traditions of the Druids. He also became interested in the life and beliefs of Aleister Crowley. Crowley coined the concept of Thelema, magick concerned with harnessing the power of the imagination and willpower to effect changes in consciousness and in the material universe. For example the album track "Without Tears" is based on Crowley's book Magick Without Tears (published in 1973).

Fripp shared similar interests in mysticism; he had studied with John G. Bennett, a disciple of G. I. Gurdjieff.

These dudes were really mucking about with the majik for this album and it shows.

Download

Peter Gabriel's 1978 self-titled second album, known to fans as "Scratch," was considered the second part of the trilogy. With its heavy use of Fippertronics throughout, the album finds the former Genesis front man finding his way to that dark, paranoid sound he mindfucked us with throughout the 80s. Highly underrated and unpopular among the public, the record has a super raw production style in the vein of King Crimson's Red but with Larry Fast playing wacked out synths. Gabriel himself has dismissed the album as dry and unimaginative but I beg to differ. Lots of jams on this sucka.

Download

Part three is Fripp's own 1979 solo album Exposure. This monster is essential in any progger dork's library. Featuring Hall and Gabriel on vocals (PG's version of Here Comes The Flood on here is absolutely fucking beautiful) as well as Van Der Graaf Generator's Peter Hamill. I've included the original demos too. Lucky you! Sonically brutal and gorgeous at the same time, Exposure has some songs that could be found on the previous albums of the trilogy but with "improved" production and performance.

PG destroy's on the 1979 Kate Bush Christmas Special

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Oh! Legendary noize terrorist Genesis P-Orridge is going to be on Illogical Contraption tomorrow night! Check out Cobra's in-depth write up on Gen here. I'll be taping an interview with her tomorrow afternoon so if you have any questions you want me to ask post them in the comments please!

Listen live tomorrow night 10pm-Midnight Pacific time on FCCFREERADIO.com in studio 1a! Or grab the podcast on iTunes.