Van Der Graaf - Vital (1978)

What the fuck is the matter with people? One of the best bands of the prog era make one of the heaviest live albums ever and the critics at the time completely shit on it so it remains in obscurity forever. Stupid! Let us not forget that these are the same critics that were telling us how worthless Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin were all the while touting the genius of The J. Geils Band and Toto. Fucking puke.

Van Der Graaf Generator were difficult to most listeners. They are not "tight" in the way King Crimson or Genesis are known for. They were way more punk and experimental in their approach to "progressive" music of the time. Jazz influenced in theory only, not in the academic way, say, Henry Cow or Gentle Giant were. There are no frolicking elves and faeries in Van Der Graaf music. This is why they rock a thousand times more than their peers.

Vital is the only official live album of the 70s released by the mighty Van Der Graaf (they dropped the Generator by this time) and it is a fucking ripper. Not ripping in the sense of Thin Lizzy - Live and Dangerous per se, but more in the way of Sleep's Holy Mountain or something. Singer/main songwriter/keyboardist Peter Hammill is brilliant at making music that's both beautiful and horrific at once and he honed that skill perfectly within the group of insanely talented musicians in VDGG. This release highlights my favorite aspects of their music. The contrast between Hammill's angelic and demonic vocals, disgustingly distorted thumping bass, intense drumming and David Jackson's sax. Yes sax. Don't be scurred. It works.

This is prog at it's best. It's absolutely madness. Play loud.

download here


Evil

SANDWICH SMACKDOWN 2k12

OK, CHUDS, IT'S TIME TO PICK A SIDE. SUBWAY OR QUIZNOS!?
Both are complete garbage trash shit food but we eat them anyway.

Subway pros:
Cheap as fuck.
That magical bread smell!
Sandwiches are made by "artist" (I think they go to art school).
They are located everywhere.
Their spokesperson, Jared, is a really cool, cute dude.

Cons:
Shredded lettuce does not live up to its name.
That magical bread smell
Too many sauces, so little time!
Tomatoes taste like fish.
Breakfast.

Here is some advice regarding Subway breakfast from Hawaiian resident and "friend of the show" Grady. Heed his warning:

[15:28] grady: btw dont ever get breakfast at subway its disgusting
[15:29] cory: describe it to me
[15:29] grady : ok
[15:30] grady : i got an egg + cheese english muffin
[15:30] grady : they go
[15:30] grady : "do you want egg whites or whole eggs"
[15:30] grady : i go "whole eggs"
[15:30] grady : they reach into the little compartments where they keep all the sandwich toppings
[15:31] cory: right
[15:31] grady : and take out a PRE-COOKED pancake looking cold omlette
[15:31] grady : slices it in half
[15:31] grady : and tosses it in the microwave
[15:32] cory: ugh thats fucked up

Quiznos PROS:
Premium ingredients
MMMM toasty
Ranch dressing on MY sandwich? SIGN ME UP!
Those little guitar playing meme hamsters

CONS:
HOT LETTUCE
HOT LETTUCE
HOT LETTUCE

We do not have Blimpies and Jimmy John on the West Coast but I am intrigued.

There is a "metal" food truck called Grill Em' All. Lol.

hi

Check out this Arsenio guy have a very bad day with sandwich!

And now we will celebrate great sandwiches in movies.



My #1 is always and forever Gary Busey's meatball sub in Point Break. YEAH!

What is yours?

TAKE ME BACK, BABY

Apocryphon's new singer

Does anyone still read Illogical Contraption? I mean, I hope so. But my neglect for this, the birthplace of so so many strange and wonderful things, is utterly inexcusable. Truth is, my computer took a dump, and then my other computer took a dump, and then (Odin help me) I got caught up in Twitter (fuck you, I'm on Twitter now, so what?) and Tumblr and some other instant-gratification sites for awhile, and then I played a bunch of shows, and then I lost my mind for a little bit, and then I recuperated. But I'm back now, baby. And I brought you flowers. Can't things just be like they used to? C'mon baby, you know Ike loves you.

I will also gladly blame IllCon Radio for stealing my time, attention, and research skills--the show has gotten way less shitty in the last couple installments, and if you haven't yet, I highly recommend checking out both Episode 21 with Aesop Dekker and Genesis P. Orridge as well Episode 22 with Shane Durgee, amateur cryptozoologist and founding member of Earth Crisis. You should really just subscribe on iTunes, though (and rate us!). I'm pretty sure tonight's guest is Parker Bowman, that insufferable prick from Pool Party Radio and Junk Food Dinner. Also another guy. Or girl. So check that out.


Speaking of being too busy to write anything significant here anymore:

APOCRYPHON SHOWS!:

with: WORM UOROBOROS (basically my favorite all-female death metal band)
BELL WITCH
SUTEKH HEXEN and
ALARIC

Also!

with EARLY GRAVES
OLD CROW (No web presence yet, I guess. But they kick ass.) and
PLAGUE WIDOW

Also!

We're playing a show with BADR VOGU, PRIZE HOG, and this sick freak at the Hemlock in SF April 29th:



Also!

A short Northern California tour with supreme ultimate party bros Hazzard's Cure some time in April. I'll keep you all abreast of further developments, I swear. Here's to new computers!


Sorry again for the long absence, gang. I promise I won't ever, ever neglect you like that again.

TREVOR JONES - Angel Heart OST (1987)

Mention the name Trevor Jones to people and they will probably shrug their shoulders with indifference. Mention the films Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Excalibur, Runaway Train or Dark City and they might have heard of a couple of those ( you would hope they have, if anyone ever denies hearing about or seeing one or more of these films, they can't be trusted!). Well Trevor Jones was responsible for the music to all of those.

I could recount Jones's career and what not but you can read all about him on Wikipedia so lets jut skip that and jump to the post, his atmospheric score to Alan Parker's supernatural 1987 flick, Angel Heart.

If you are familiar with the film ( you should be, if not then rectify this personal failure), then you will know about the claustrophobic atmosphere and general creepiness it exudes. Trevor Jones managed to capture this mood perfectly with a score that feels like a constantly shifting musical suite rather than separate tracks. Starting as it does with the mournful saxophone and creeping synths before moving into the downtrodden blues and thumping heartbeat of the second half, punctuated throughout with sampled dialogue detailing Mickey Rourke's doomed search. Its been my "drive to work" album for the past few weeks, my co-workers hate me for it.

Saxual Healing

The film is streaming online and its easy enough to find so get on that as well. Rourke and De Niro on fine form.

Infernäl Mäjesty - None Shall Defy The Fact That I'm Unholier Than Thou

I could have sworn Cobras had done a review of Infernal Majesty's None Shall Defy a while back but I could not locate it for the life of me. Maybe it's been buried deep within IllCon's catacombs? Maybe it was taken off mysteriously by those mysterious aliens?

Perhaps Bigfoot decided to come in and pummel it completely from record? Maybe it was sequestered by the pesky folks up there in D.C. in a similar manner to what happened at Megaupload? Or maybe Alex Jones is at it again and elves came, worked their magic, and stole it?

Whatever the case, I was originally going to feature Infernal Majesty's second album, Unholier Than Thou, but why not feature both albums?! Saweet! Thanks dude!! (You know you will be thanking me later!)

You know what I like about this band? They did what Slayer could not. They continued producing sick ass tunes. They did not get watered down by the music industry. They didn't grow beyond their music and act like they invented the genre or anything of the sort. And on top of that, they did not become egotistical pussies (talk about undisputed attitude!). Don't get me wrong, I highly respect Slayer's first 5 albums. In fact, I love Slayer! I still consider both Show No Mercy and Reign In Blood as favorites of mine. I even have a soft spot for Seasons... and Divine Intervention was a solid album to boot! However, the Slayer of today is like a decrepit version of the Slayer of yesterday. They simply are trying too hard now and their music has suffered. But I'm not here to talk about Slayer, I'm here to talk about one of Canada's finest!

OK, perhaps a little more on Slayer for a moment... Some consider Infernal Majesty a Slayer rip-off. OK, that's true to a point. Slayer were highly influential. Many bands followed their recipe. In the beginning of Infernal Majesty's career there is an obvious Slayer influence and their tone and approach were parallel to Slayer's at times but they went beyond that by adding an element of (if I dare say) black metal, technical thrash, and later death metal to the mix (rumor had it Corpsegrinder from Cannibal Corpse was doing live vocals for them recently). With that said, Infernal Majesty are therefore not a Slayer rip-off. They continue to shred, they slay, and pummel the listener into oblivion... Something Slayer seemingly has struggled to do on recent albums.

The band itself originated from Canada in 1986, so that should be a testament to how awesome they are. I mean Canada has thus far produced some of the best music, including metal, period. Bands such as Gorguts, Slaughter, Exciter, Sacrifice, Kataklysm, Malicious Intent, Razor, Revenge, and Blasphemy all came out from the boreal forest and tundra that makes up much of our neighbor to the north. Maybe there is something to be said about the cold, windswept climate up there that produces solid, no bullshit music? Who knows.

Anyways, None Shall Defy happens to be in my top-twenty, possibly even top-ten albums of all time. Unholier Than Thou is also a great album that is highly underrated but it does have its' flaws. The track, "Roman Song", is probably their strongest on the album as it shows Infernal Majesty at their best, however there is something about None Shall Defy that simply has not been topped, by both their contemporaries and the band itself.

So rather than me blabbering on for days about how great these releases are, I suggest you check them out for yourself!

Here

Buy Here or Here

Last.FM / Metallum

Official Website

How much more 'metal' can you get?! Jeesh.