Brave New World and a Half

Although its roots remained firmly planted in the buddy-comedy genre of previous decades, the offshoot emergence of the buddy-cop subgenre in the mid 1960’s began posing a challenge to post-war American society. Despite some tentative steps that decade, it wasn’t until the 1970’s that the buddy cop movie first began testing the limits of traditional social norms. It was in 1976, when the unthinkable happened; a woman became the buddy to the cop. While the foundations of the status quo were surely shaken to their roots by this and other ruptures, it wasn’t until almost a decade later that the genre really began to come into its own.

The 80’s proved to be the heyday of the buddy-cope genre, a time when the form truly crossed a threshold and, dare I say it, forever changed the face of American cinema. This is thanks to the release of Beverly Hills Cop in 1984, a film which pushed the envelope for African American characters in American cinema. That year, the floodgates weren’t just opened, they were swept from their very hinges. Buddy-Cop films became the leading edge of a social revolution, recasting conventional stereotypes with greater subtlety and nuance and daring us as individual citizens and as a nation to question long held assumptions about workplace integration and traditional ways of combining comedy and action. By the end of the ‘80’s, new and more daring buddy-cop entries arrived monthly, addressing complex social issues each time. Women buddy-cops reappeared, Soviet/American buddy cops, Japanese/American buddy cops, dog/human buddy cops (it’s own sub-sub-genre!) human/alien buddy cops, and even federal/municipal buddy cops. The 80’s was a cultural and political minefield, but Buddy Cops were ready for the challenge.

As the decade came to a close however, it seemed that the Buddy-Cop had reached its apex. It was a heady and inspiring time in America, daily forging a new nation of comedic multicultural camaraderie on the screen. Yet, at the same time the very maturity of this groundbreaking genre prevented it from fully remaking society in its own revolutionary image. The Buddy-Cop could apparently go no further. They may have been a symbol of all that was right with America, but the genre’s aesthetic complexity remained out of reach of the very beneficiaries of the new America that the buddy-cop was carving; children under ten.

In the early years of the 1990’s the genre was foundering, seemingly unable to carry through its promise of a greater society. In the bowels of Hollywood however, a chance encounter between two screen-powerhouses was brewing the formula of a new Buddy Cop that would very nearly achieve the status of its progenitors. With almost half a century of collective experience in the television industry, Henry Winkler and Burt Reynolds had a bone-deep understanding of the American intellect. But how do you translate all the complex socio-cultural commentary of Buddy Cops into an ageless cypher?

The answer turned out to be deceptively simple. By taking the touchstone of modern buddy cop cinema, Axel Foley, and effectively shrinking him into an 8 year old child, the genre became palatable to even the most sensitive of American tastes. While Foley had been a comedic loose-cannon, albeit a “good guy”, he was still a ‘black-man’ and this represented a traditional threat to whiteness that his goofy smile could never quite temper. All the imminent sexuality, violence and anger that black men represent in the white American mythos vanished and was replaced by a cute, well scrubbed and innocuous child that needed to be protected from his own naivete. With Burt Reynolds as the cigar-smoking excessive-force-using bitter old man rougue-Cop to this new incarnation of the Buddy, it was a miraculous reconception of paternalism that transcended metaphor entirely.

Cop and a Half is streaming right now on NutFlex, so go and see the the film that made the 90's the 'cool' decade.

When Self-Promotion Goes Wrong Part 1

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Apocryphon will also be playing in Santa Rosa Saturday, June 23rd. Details forthcoming. And let's not forget:

ILLCON RADIO RETURNS TO THE AIRWAVES AT 10PM TONIGHT RIGHT HERE. WE HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS. WE MIGHT HAVE A GUEST OR TWO. WE WILL EAT CHIPS AND AL WILL GET DRUNK. SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES PLEASE. ALSO CALL US AT 415-829-2980. THANK YOU.

When drawing goes wrong pt2.

I am going to put it out there and say that it was pretty sweet seeing the level of response to the previous bad artwork post. Then the remedial prison, rehabilitation art ball rolled into the MS Paint album covers post, which we all agree was beyond awesome. To quote the head honcho, " we have the best goddamn motherfucking readers on the entire Internet, you guys rule."

On that slushy note, here is another selection of some of my favourite "bad art" album covers. Once again. Despite a complete lack of art skill and in some cases complete lack of human anatomy, I do hold a certain level of respect for these awesome images.

Pretty obvious what these guys think about all the time isn't it? I can wager it isn't being in a band.

God bless the Scorpions for consistently proving themselves to be guitar wielding numb skulls of the highest order. I have a slight bit of respect for the German chumps over the fact that when it comes to making some sort of statement, The Scorpions are always going to express it at a unbelievably low level of both class and awareness. With Animal Magnetism they surpassed themselves and wouldn't manage to beat it until 1996 when they hit us with this guy.....

See what I mean, deep stuff.

Future barbarian, biker, outlaw judge? Who knows but Battle Axe. They charged into the art the same way they approach they're sweet metal jams. With more enthusiasm than skill.

I really dig this one. Its just an awesome image. Plain and simple. Of course maybe the artist wasn't exactly up to the job but I am letting it slide.

It was mentioned last time so here it is. I never thought I would say this but Metal Magic really was a step up for these guys after Projects In The Jungle.

Karisma with a "K". Pretty sure that's a rabid walrus either escaping from some kind of imprisonment or just hanging out. Awesome.

Yes, that is a skull faced nudist raising a severed penis above its head atop a volcano. Thanks for noticing.

Everyones favourite NWOBHM never was's prove that you shouldn't fear evil. Fear death and badly drawn skulls instead.

Some evil, Christ baiting black metal? No? Oh sorry my mistake. You look like your having far to much fun at camp to be actual black metallers. She most certainly is having far to much fun streaking for Satan.

You shouldn't really expect too much when diving into the putrid trough of goregrind/pornogrind nonsense, its meant to be offensive. But this certainly plumbs some stinky depths.

Another one mentioned last time and its a cracker. Really what can you say about this? 

Once again, Any of you guys want to throw some more into the ring? We are open to suggestions for any you can think of to top these.

PURPLE SABBATH - The Black Sabbath Born Again Demos 1983

I think it's weird that everyone is talking about Sabbath reforming sans Bill Ward. Who the heck cares in 2012? Ozzy is a ghost of his former self, they play exactly zero deep cuts. Who get excited for this shit? Internet metal nerds? Dad? I don't know.

Let's take it back and look at what was up with Sabbath in 1983. Singer Ronnie James Dio just left the band along with then-drummer Vinnie Appice to start their own band Dio. The story goes: he had an epic battle with Iommi about the mixing of Live Evil (lol divas). Original Sabbath drummer Bill Ward was coaxed back in and the new singer was none other than the legendary Ian Gillan of Deep Purple fame. 

The result? Well thats up for debate. To me Born Again is up there with Vol 4. and Masters as one of their heaviest records. I love Ian Gillan's voice. Love it. Jesus Christ Superstar is one of my favorite rock records ever (Gillan plays Jesus, n00bs) and (in my opinion) his vocals worked perfectly with Iommi's evil riffage. The album was not received well by the public and generally trashed by the music press. I think thats weird. It totally rules. WTF, people?  

Ian said he never fit in with the band and he hated the album cover. I once read he smashed a whole box of records in his home because he was so disgusted. Also I guess this version of Sabbath inspired the 'Stonehenge' scene in This Is Spinal Tap. Check out this awesome story:

The album was apparently the victim of a terrible mix that had something to do with humidity + master tapes. Thats why what I'm posting here is so important. This is the unmixed, unmastered demos for the album (+ 1 song) that somehow surfaced in 2004 and it's fucking rad. This album has never received an official release on CD which is weird but fuck it. These demos are better anyway. One of my faves.

Download this now. 

THE METALOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN

Guess who's coming to dinner on Episode 34 of IllCon Radio tonight? You guessed it: Tommy Blacha (right), co-creator of everyone's favorite TV show Metalocalypse and voice of everyone's favorite quasi-retarded alcoholic bass player William Murderface.
That's right: Worlds are colliding, faces are melting, and everything you once thought you knew will be proven false. Please go to FCCFreeRadio.com Studio 1A at 10pm to join in the fun, and feel free to drop us a line at 415-829-2980 to join in the quasi-retarded alcoholic fun. Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes as well.

Coming soon: Kubrick conspiracies blown wide open, Apocryphon tour dates, cryptozoological breakthroughs in space, and probably several more fan-art-related posts. Stay tuned.

Also, I'm on the new episode of Pool Party Radio. Check that out, too, and don't forget to subscribe to their podcast as well. They're OK dudes.
Since I don't have the time to supply you all with anything else worthwhile or thought-provoking at the moment, instead let's just take a moment to enjoy the trailer for Antfarm Dickhole: